Look A Little Closer

Once upon a time when I was in fifth grade, we had a contest. We had to look at a painting by a famous artist who was not named and guess the title. I was looking at Picasso's "Old Guitar Player". I guessed the title correctly. I think it was fitting that I guessed right since it was a well known fact among my fellow classmates that I was an artist and in a completely different universe from every other human being.
As I grew up, I got the impression that Picasso was a jerk. He seemed to me to be a woman-hater. I chalked him up as just another typical man. I never cared for his work much but when I was taking one of my first art classes I learned that the reason why his cubist work looked weird was because he was trying to show all aspects of an object simultaniously. He was expressing the fact that even though you may not see the back of a chair it still exists. Interesting idea to have and want to express considering the attitudes about creating art at the time. Interesting anyway. That insight would have been nice a million years ago when I first started studying art. (So I wonder??? Why arent' these things taught? Who's in charge?)
So a few years ago I heard of an exhibit at a local university that I was interested in seeing. The collection of masterworks from Monet to Picasso was lectured on by the lending Cleveland Museum of Modern Art. This is how I learned that Picasso had a friend as a young man who was a fellow artist and was in love with a woman of ill repute. The friend's name was Carlos Casagenas. When Casagenas learned that he had been rejected, he held a dinner party that included the woman, Picasso and other friends. Casagenas stood to give a toast and then shot himself in front of everyone.
The impact this had on Picasso must have been enormous. He was a young man away from home for the first time and living an impoverished lifestyle. I'm sure he was strong enough to endure life's hardships but what a traumatic event!
So to make a long story short...I can see why he might have had a negative opinion of women.
The point of this story is that there's more than meets the eye when it comes to art and artists. Knowing these details about Picasso makes me want to look at his work again and look into his work. I still don't like his work but I appreciate it. I'm curious about it and I want to know more about it and the man behind it. Would it be wonderful if other people did too? Let's get off this starvation diet of looking at and appreciating art.

Who Am I? Where Did I Come From? Where Am I Going?

I started drawing when I was about 2 in response to the harsh realities of the real world. Creating little worlds to escape to as a child was a consuming pasttime. I worked in 3D at our home on Farley Drive. It had a milk box in the wall in the back of the house. You know, a milk box, a place for the milkman who came by at 3 am to leave your daily order of milk. It was about a foot square and I would cut out cardboard to make chairs and a couch. A washcloth made a convenient carpet. Yes...imagination run amuck. Drawing was an instant and magical tool for social acceptance in grade school too. Without it I would have vaporized into obscurity, just one of the masses who didn't have the right clothes and connections.
I had great teachers in high school who sent me to the "great art school downtown" my senior year. My work was picked to be displayed in the halls alongside the college kid's work. Even today I marvel at that. It was a great accomplishment. But it just flows out of me. It shocks me sometimes that I can do what I do. Like it didn't really come from me. Sometimes I wonder if it does!?
Anyway, I did get to go on to college. I had lots of milestones there, too. The dean of Arts and Humanities bought one of my paintings for $550. I quickly bought a digital camera.
These days I've taken on Goliath. Yes, I'm working to live by my art alone. I'm pushing back at life. I'm done with "real jobs". Sometimes I can't sleep at night because I'm so excited about what I'm working on, or what I want to say to the world. This is the way life should be. Hopefully, I can bring some insight into the artworld through my own experience. Break down some misconceptions. Make art accessible. Dive in with me.

....and then

I hope I'm true to the vision in my mind. That's the essence of a true artist, isn't it? We have a vision and hope to communicate that to the outside world. I don't look at other artists for inspiration. My inspiration comes from within. That said, I do work based on photographs of the local landscape. I want viewers to have the same experience I have in viewing such magnificent places. Nature is really astounding. But this other side of me is third order. Yeah, I love nature but there's a more abstract side to me that needs expression. My thinking plus the world around me equals....(fill in the blank).

Here's a good place to start...

Over the years I have taken many life drawing classes. I asked a professor once why we study the figure in the 21st century. He couldn't answer. The stock answer is..."if you can draw the figure, you can draw anything" Hogwash. I do appreciate all the training. I think it has lead me to search for a reason for the figure in today's art. That work is forthcoming. As a very young child I created a world in which I could be safe and free. My internal self became very well developed and I found it second nature to express the reality within myself. Consequently the attention I received because of my talent was appreciated. Unfortunately, as a result of many years of poverty and trying to provide for my family I was kept from growing as a professional. Moving forward now I am excited to bring to reality the many things that have been perculating in my head and heart. I used to hate anything abstract until I visited the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. I saw many things there that I had only seen pictures of from my art history books. It was such an amazing experience and changed me forever. I realized that many times an artist truely tries to create something new like musicians who make jazz try to create new music. Unfortunately an unsophisticated audience might now be able to tell the difference between crap and what's good. I want to create something new and good.